Christian McPherson

Christian McPherson's work has appeared in several journals and anthologies, including "Misunderstandings Magazine" and "m-pty magazine." He lives in Ottawa and is anxiously awaiting the birth of his second child. Also check out Christian's art work. Click here to see his Publication History.

Plastic Life

Lost in commemorative keychains
and the limited edition collector’s cup
of this instant life
       (just add water
              AA batteries
                     and therapy)

we can make it through
another day
while somebody else
works hard
       (I like to piss into a clean toilet)

shove vitamin pills
into every orifice
and dance happy
along the religious sidewalk sales
        (zealots get a discount on explosives)

this is where the post-modern
capitalist dream
turns into the surrealist nightmare
where the woman on the billboard
is about to moan in orgasmic pleasure
if you would just pull out your
       plastic card
if you would just buy it
if you would just eat it
if you would just
       do it
she would shoot
dollar signs
out her pussy
and you would
be enlightened
to a discount
on your next
reincarnation.

---

Glossy Advertising

4 page layout in a magazine:

the torso of a voluptuous beautiful woman
with pale creamy skin
carrying an electrifying green
bushel of broccoli in her bare bosom

crucified Christ on the cross
clutching in each hand
like this was his true burden
blood dripping broccoli

a young freckled Irish girl
hair as red as a strawberry
licking as if it were a lollipop
a contrasting clump of broccoli

and a cocksure cowboy
riding a calico horse
with gorgeous leather boots
having broccoli for spurs

what a clever way to sell blue jeans.

---

Publication History for Christian McPherson 

Books 

• Six Ways to Sunday - forthcoming Spring 2007 Publisher Nightwood Editions

 
 

Short Stories 

• In/Words 6.1 (October 2006) - published through the Department of English at Carleton University

“Vodka” 

• Perspectives Magazine – ISSN 1715-9148 - July 2006

      “The Prison”

 

• The Nashwaak Review - ISSN 1205-7681 – Summer 2006

“The Plastic Garden”

 

• m-pty magazine – issue #6 – January 2006 - ISSN 1715-2712 (print)  ISSN 1715-2720 (online)

“The Deal”

 

• TransVerse: A Comparative Studies Journal, issue #5 – ISSN 1710-4394, the graduate student journal at the Centre for Comparative Literature, University of Toronto

“Beautiful Bruises”

 

• TRANSISTION - an annual publication of the Canadian Mental Health Association – Fall 2005

“Ladybug”

 

• LICHEN Arts & Letters Preview 7.1 – Spring/Summer 2005 issue

      “Maple Forest in Autumn” 

• Chapbook – September 2004 by Bad Moon Books ISBN 1-896634-18-4

      “Killer Dope” 

• The Grist Mill: Food for the Mind (Valley Writers Guild) 2004

      “Chilidog Love” 

• The Grist Mill: Food for the Mind (Valley Writers Guild) 2003

      “Autograph” 

• The New Quarterly – ISSN 0227-0455, Issue # 84, Sweat & Serendipity (2002)

      “The Pineapple Thai Village” 

Poetry 

• The Best of Inscribed Volume One: 2006 - ISBN: 978-0-9782-8190-8 Publisher: Inkko Publishing

   February, 2007

“Resurrection” 

• Misunderstandings Magazine – Vol. 6 2007

   “Cannibals” 

• JONES AV.  - ISSN:1198-1822 – XI/4 Summer/Fall 2006.

      “Nerve”  

• Misunderstandings Magazine – Vol. 5 2006

“An Explanation” 

• Quills Canadian Poetry Magazine - ISSN: 1708-3486 July 2006

“Somerset Park” 

• The Green Muse Review  – Volume I Edition II June 2006 http://thegreenmuse.org  6 poems

“Wart War I”  “The final signpost  “POPART-Knowing everything sucks”

   “Ghosts”   “Sunnyside Seasons”  “Favourite Numbers” 

• dANDelion Magzine – 32.1 May 2006

      “Ode to Humanity”  “The Dishes”  “Living Downtown” “Depressed America” 

• Misunderstandings Magazine – Vol. 3 2006

“Garbage Day” “Seasonal Affective Disorder” 

• dANDelion Magazine – 31.2 December 2005

      “Beating Capatalism” “Cathartic” “Parking Lot Cemetery”

       

• Misunderstandings Magazine – Vol. 2 2005

“Little Winged Beasts” “Experiments” 

• Queen’s Quarterly – Summer 2005, Vol. 112 No. 2

“Tidal Wave”

 

• Misunderstandings Magazine – Vol. 1 2005

      “Anxious Snapshots of the World” 

• JONES AV.  - ISSN:1198-1822 – X/3 February 2005.

      “Saint Valentine” 

• On Spec - Vol. 15 No. 4 (#55) Winter 2003

      “The Madhouse” 

• On Spec - Vol. 15 No. 1 (#52) Spring 2003

      “Moebius Mice” 

• Kaleidoscope, An International Journal of Poetry - Vol. 3.1 (2002)

   Palimpsest Press ISSN#: 1492-2231

      “The Cooler King” “Comic-Book Karma” “Blurry Gravel and Gravy” 

• Oval Victory : the best of Canadian poetry : a Canadian Poetry Association anthology / editor, Linda Rogers. -- Toronto : Hidden Brook Press, 2002. ISBN 1-894553-35-7

      “On my way to meet my maker” “Blue Eels” 

• Open window III : an international anthology of poetry / edited by Richard M. Grove. -- Toronto : Hidden Brook Press, 2002. ISBN 1-894553-38-1

      “Blood Work” “Comic-Book Karma” 

• Seeds 3 : a poetry anthology / editor, Richard M. Grove ; contest judge, Donna Allard ; feature poet, Tanis Macdonald. -- Toronto : Hidden Brook Press, 2000. ISBN 1-894553-11-X

      “Blood Work” “A Fight”

Online Publication

 

• Inscribed – August 2006 http://www.inscribed.org 1 poem

“Resurrection”

 

• Penniless Press – July 2006  http://pennilesspress.com 2 poems

      “Plastic Life”  “Glossy Advertising”

 

• SaucyVox(Dot)Com – March/April 2006 http://www.saucyvox.com 12 poems

“Skeletons”  “Dancing”  “Oral”

      “Scratch Off Cheese” “Celery Sticks  “Mortality”

“Ice Age”  “The Poetry Market” “Storage Violation”

“The Gentle Sleeper” “Canadian Girl”  “The Pit” 

• Kiss Machine: A Conga Line of Arts and Culture – published as a web extra for issue #11 – http://kissmachine.org

   “Smoking” – short story 
 
 
 

Awards 

• The 2003 John Spencer Hill Award

      Third place for “Chilidog Love” 

• 2003 Ottawa Public Library Short Story Award Contest Judges Mary Borsky, Marjory Gordon and Alison Gresik.

      Honourable Mention for “Maple Forest in Autumn” 

• The 2002 John Spencer Hill Award  Contest Judge Alan Cumyn

      Honourable Mention “Autograph”

      Sortlisted for “Beautiful Bruises”  

• 2000 Seeds 3 Poetry Contest Contest Judge – Penn Kemp

      Third place for “Blood Work”

      Honourable Mention for “A fight” 

• 2000 Ottawa Public Library Short Story Award Contest Judges Ken Rockburn and Doug Fischer

      First Place for “The Pineapple Thai Village” 

• 1999 Ottawa Public Library Short Story Award

      Honourable Mention “Vodka” 

• The 1999 Canadian Poetry Association’s Poetry Competion

      Third place for “Skeletons” 

• 1999 Prickly Poetry Contest of Dundas Ontario

      Finalist for “The Final Signpost”